Sunday night after a long afternoon of lounging by the lake, Hubby and I went to visit some friends of ours. Mr. & Mrs. G have a little girl that turns 3 today. She is a very smart and lucky girl. She was born 3 months prematurely and has suffered from some physical ailments since birth due to lack of oxygen during childbirth.
It has been a blessing to watch her grow up. Baby G starts preschool in a couple of weeks and is very excited about the prospect of going to school like the big kids. She doesn't seem the least bit shy or scared about the situation before her.
Somewhere in the middle of our visit with the G's, baby G asked if we had brought her a prize. I kind of laughed at her and said "Your birthday isn't until Wednesday. You'll get your prize then." Mrs. G said something like "Baby G, they didn't bring prizes with them." Baby G started to get upset that we hadn't brought her a prize. My thoughts of course are, is it a prerequisit to bring a prize to visit with the G's?
But what happened next has really gotten me a thinkin'...Mrs. G went and got a nicely wrapped prize, handed it to me from behind her back and whispered, you can give this to her. ???? Huh???? So I did as I was instructed.
I have been reflecting on that moment for a couple of days now. Apparently so has my husband. As we sat down to feast on our evening meal last night he looked at me and sad "If we have kids, they will not be asking the company for prizes. They will get a strong repremand from me if they ever do anything like that. It is unacceptable."
I agree. I may not have kids, but I do know that this little girl can manipulate her parents already at the tender age of 3. Feeding into behaviors like this only encourage it. I wouldn't have been embarrassed if they had addressed the situation in front of us. I actually would have liked to observe it. I do know that kids need to be disapplined in the moment when they are very young. They won't put the two situations together immediately unless you connect that behavior for them.
Anyways, I would be embarrassed if my kids started asking everyone for prizes. Greedy bastards.
3 comments:
Wouldn't it have been nice if the parents had said to the little girl that your presence was her suprise - or asked that you give her a hug as a surprise. I cannot believe they handed you a gift to give her. This little girl will most likely grow up expecting that she will be given anything the wants. And, when she gets older, the stuff she wants will cost more and the consequences of not getting what she wants may have a bad outcome.
This is a sad situation. I hope that the "G's" realize their error of their ways.
Loving childen does not mean giving them everything that they want. Loving children means you have to make hard decisions sometimes and you have to say "NO" for their own good.
Interesting. My sister and her husband have done similar things with their daughter. She's a lovely little girl, whom I'm afraid is going to be spoiled beyond repair. My parents gave me wonderful presents when I was a child, but never crossed that line by fillng a room full of toys for me.
Sometimes children need to cry and realize that the world is not so cruel when they don't get a gift. When Baby G grows up and finds out how rough life REALLY can be, she may not be able to understand.
You & your husband were right to reflect on the moment. Teaching a child boundaries, patience and that the world does NOT revolve around them is not abusive. If she grew up in a poor family, would it be a cruel thing? Should her parents give her up to a richer family? It isn't wise to teach a child greed like that.
Yikes! I think I would have been beat if I asked anyone for a 'prize' as a child, and shame on the parents for handing one to you. I'm not a parent though, and it's always easy to comment on something I know nothing about. (but, that still wouldn't have changed the fact that I would have been beat!)
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